fotsworth

fotsworth

The world needs a couple more of me.

Classé: #324

Score: 2 171 677

For all we know, they could have deserved it. I propose a story; two chickens naked in a field, scared and running. They get to the edge of the wood, chancing a glance back, they see no one. Was there anyone to begin with? Why had they been running?

Par fotsworth2020-05-06 16:00

79% (754)

Reminds me of the time that I didnt try. So, there I was, at the foothills of the tallest mountain in North America, Denali. Then I just didn't climb it. Cuz it costs like $40,000. I aint gonna do that shit. Plus I don't climb at all. Never have.

Par fotsworth2019-12-02 19:30

90% (1328)

No brain. Only brain.

Par fotsworth2019-05-17 16:30

88% (1182)

If only the mom dad love strong like hulk

Par fotsworth2019-04-27 14:00

88% (1028)

Thus sealing his own fate for doing twice the work.

Par fotsworth2019-01-24 11:30

91% (1687)

Oh jeeez he really fucked that one up. Reminds me of the time I went to fart in the shower and full blown diarrhea came out of my butt. Covered the shower floor, made me puke. That was not a good morning.

Par fotsworth2018-12-08 12:00

89% (1577)

You know that feeling when you read the sign wrong, and end up going into a salon instead of a saloon to get that sweet, sweet taste of escaping the world for just a little bit. Do you think they had darts back then?

Par fotsworth2018-11-22 00:30

86% (1218)

Like the memedroid

Par fotsworth2018-04-19 03:00

81% (1188)

I like my coffee black. But I started out this way. I was raised Mormon, so coffee was a no-no. But once I left the church I tried it and hated it. But after a few months I've gone to the deepest, darkest pit of Alaska and have wrestled bears.

Par fotsworth2018-02-11 19:00

85% (1631)

Up in the cloud. I just wanna make love in the morning, work til the evening, and then watch the sun go down.

Par fotsworth2018-01-24 16:00

81% (1024)

I fucking love the Taco Bell. I'm borderline addicted. Glad I'm not super fat. Def got some chub on me. But nothing starving myself a day or two won't solve.

Par fotsworth2018-01-20 11:00

88% (1648)

Kids are fucking expensive. I mean, I don't have any, thank Satan. But I totally should. I have been careless on the pull-out more than I care to admit. Maybe I'm sterile? I hope not, but also I hope so. I don't think I want kids.

Par fotsworth2018-01-10 04:30

88% (1645)

Vacuums suck... Sorry. I guess I'll just hang myself now. My favorite movie of all time? Weird thing to ask. I'd probably say Strange Brew, eh. The meme potential is huge.

Par fotsworth2018-01-08 11:30

84% (1186)

Most sharks are or of my league too. Cept for great whites. They're sluts. Just a little blood on you and they'll suck yo dick all night. I want a challenge. Never been with a tiger shark, I got jungle fever.

Par fotsworth2018-01-05 09:30

84% (1202)

Too bad so sad.

Par fotsworth2018-01-01 16:30

84% (1560)

Stick pix

Par fotsworth2017-12-29 14:00

79% (1047)

I had a gun in my mouth 3 times. Couldn't do it though. I thought it would be easier to try pills. So I stole like 15 pill bottles from my friend, laid them out and had a full bottle of tequila in front of me. Still couldnt do it :/

Par fotsworth2017-12-29 11:30

62% (978)

Any one who has ever worked in retail has heard this joke a million times. Don't do it. If you've ever said this to someone - consider suicide.

Par fotsworth2017-12-27 14:00

80% (1344)

Only rich people think money can't buy happiness. I'd just like to be able to eat every meal. Is that too much to ask? I'm getting so sick of PBnJ's and ramen. Do you know what I am saying?

Par fotsworth2017-12-27 11:00

82% (1312)

Im14andthisisdeep

Par fotsworth2017-12-15 13:00

83% (1225)

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